It is a
horrific ordeal, and nobody should ever have to go through it. The recovery is
a long, slow process. The psychological scars run deeply and painfully. I can
tell you there is a lot more support out there than there used to be though.
It’s ironic
that the internet, which has helped paedophiles distribute their vile images is
now helping survivors get help. Note that I say survivors not victims. I hate
the word victim; it sounds and feels helpless. And these children are far from
that, even if they don’t know it yet. The very fact they have survived such
atrocities is testament to their inner strength.
The media
demonises the perpetrators of these crimes to the extent we start to believe
they must look like monsters. But the cold hard truth is they look ‘normal’
(another word I hate, but I’m allowing it here). They can even appear to be
charming to the outside world. But what happens behind closed doors can be oh
so different.
Survivors of
abuse usually feel alone and frightened. The threats made to them by their
tormentors are all too real. That is why they are often that kid in the
playground who is away from everyone else and withdrawn. This is such an
important indication for teachers to be aware of. It’s obviously not always the
case; some children are naturally quiet and not all survivors display this
characteristic. But it is an important indicator to be aware of nonetheless.
I truly
believe we should discuss this topic more openly. It is still with hushed
voices we offer opinions. But through awareness we can all do our bit to help
bring an end to this torment.
It is why I
have written Broken & Damaged Love. I honestly wanted to show survivors
they are sadly not alone; that this happens a lot, and there are people who
understand, are trained and will help if sought out. The survivor just need to
reach out.
I also wanted
to raise general awareness. It’s important that we all are alert and are
willing to help survivors get the help they need.
Broken &
Damaged Love is Tina’s story of survival. It shows how everyone can find love
and peace in their lives; that the past does not have to hinder our future.
There is a
really sweet love story here; you just have to get through the dark to reach
the light.
A small
selection of the help out there:
HAVOCA is an
international resource run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. They
provide support, friendship and advice for any adult who’s life has been
affected by childhood abuse.
The ethos at
HAVOCA is ‘Every Survivor has the
right to become a Thriver.’
Mind –
www.mind.org.uk
There can be a side effect/impact
on our mental health when we go through trauma.
Mind are there to help you with
this aspect. They help people with many kinds of mental health issues, such as
depression, self harm, eating problems, anxiety and panic attacks.
Tel. 020 8519 2122
Based in the USA, and has
been voted one of “America’s 100 Best Charities”
They created and operate the
National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org) in partnership with more than 1,100 local sexual assault
service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for
the Department of Defense.
In 2015, the Online Hotline
expanded to offer services in Spanish at rainn.org/es. RAINN also
carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help victims and ensure that
rapists are brought to justice.
They
run 12 step meetings, using a modified version of Alcholics Anonymous. It is
free, ongoing, non-faith, but spiritual group for both males and females age
18+.
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